Before you do series (Money)

Love is blind, that is what they say but when it comes to money matters, love turneth not a blind eye. Au contraire love shines its eyes here and that could become a problem if not addressed promptly. Those who are love stricken may chant, I love him or her too much, I don’t care about the money. Boo trust me, you want to care. Cinderella and Prince Charming may have gone off to live happily ever after but I can bet that their different backgrounds (him rich; her poor) would have strongly influenced their spending habits and caused them to argue about this every other day. So before you tie the knot, you might want to have the talk…the financial talk.

Start off with something simple, like what would either of you consider as too much to spend? This would help you guys figure out priorities and work out where to go from there. Try not to be too judgmental here. For instance; she may have no qualms spending 100,000 naira annually on her hair and he may think spending 100,000 naira on cable TV is perfectly justifiable. As individuals with a monthly income of say 85,000 naira, this may seem okay but when you are planning a family and you have long term goals like buying a home, saving up for the kid’s education etc. both of you will have to cut back.

A combined annual income of about 2million naira and a long term goal of buying a home among other expenses leaves little room for spending 20% on hair and TV when rent alone for your current place could take about 30% if not more for a property. So you definitely have to talk about adjusting your spending in other to accommodate each other and the future you are planning together.

You should also decide if you want to combine your accounts. This is a great idea but some people might feel stifled by this. A compromise would be to operate a join account with an individual spending limit. What I mean is that you can spend without consulting the other unless you want to make a purchase that exceeds the individual spending limit. Say for instance you both have 20,000 naira respectively per month to spend on whatever you want but you have your sights set on buying a new phone, or upgrade your skill set with a professional training that cost 40, 000, you would have to consult each other before you do that.

The key is to keep an honest open communication about your expenses. Major financial decisions should be taken together. Even if one person earns way more than the other, both parties should be involved in the decision making. Avoid the keeping up with the Joneses trap. Cut your coat according to your size. And if you find that both of you cannot come to an agreeable compromise, talk to a financial counselor. Your premarital counselor in church can set you up with one if you are unsure. It may cost you but it is better to enter your marriage with a full game plan than to just “wing it”.
PS: Love…xxx